“She doesn’t even know you.”

July 17, 2020 – “She doesn’t even know you.”

         I have been busy finishing the paved driveway and now sidewalks to match. Yes it is a masterpiece even if I say that myself.  Yes, I did it all by myself, one brick at a time, with my husband as my cheerleader.

         Yes, I am proud of it and have every right to be proud of it, as it was an enormous undertaking.  I will blog about it in the near future with pictures.

         We have all been in this pandemic since March and for many it is tiresome, as their wings have been clipped.  As for me, I am discovering I am more of an introvert than I realized, once I got used to the reduced shopping, we have been able to manage nicely.

         Notice to friends and family – I don’t think this COVID19 is a hoax, I believe it is real and dangerous and I believe in masks, disinfectants, and social distancing.  I have my opinion and you can have yours.  That is what American freedom is all about and last I knew I lived in America, the home of free speech and freedom.

         I can entertain myself easily with books, gardening, sewing, crafts, or simply sitting outside in the shade listening to the birds chirping, catching a refreshing breeze, or watching the butterflies flutter from flower to flower.

         This week, I received an impatient telephone message, the second one from an acquaintance. Out of courtesy I decided answer it instead of ignore it. I replied with a text that we were okay and well.

         Short of having a wellness check police officer arrive at my door, I was the gracious one and extended myself, to calm this person.

         Let me put it as delicately at I can, the situation didn’t go well is an understatement and I voiced my disappointment and anger to a dear friend, my private counsellor for these instances.  She is the one I call to vent, or rant, or rave about personal affronts, slights, or injustices.

         All my life, since I left home to marry my husband, we have taken the attitude of “island onto ourselves”.  We don’t require anyone else.  We don’t need to socialize daily or weekly with another couples or people.

         Over the years, I have relaxed this island attitude as we both have no family in the area, and I have made several friends, and my husband has had many golfing friends.

         My lifeline used to be weekly letters from my Mom. She passed away a few years back and now I only have my brother, Ken.

         He, too, is more alone now, as he lost his wife of 45 years the year before last.  We talk often now and I’ve commented on more than one occasion, that “he is all I have now” burdening him with an overwhelming responsibility.  He has children and grandchildren, whereas, I do not.

         Our parents were self-sufficient and we were raised to be self-sufficient.  They taught us to not expect your friends or neighbors to pitch in and DO for us what we should be doing for ourselves was their teaching.  They also drummed into our heads that there is no such thing as a free lunch – there are always strings attached.

         This is a Yankee attitude that you should be taking care of your own affairs and that you should keep your own counsel that my husband and I have subscribed to for decades.  Yes, we keep secrets, yes we don’t air our dirty linen as the phrase is coined.

         We learned that privacy and closed-mouth-ness from our parents.  We don’t ask for advice, I will clarify that, we seldom ask for advice and we abhor unsolicited advice and find it an affront to our sensibilities.  When we are asked to give advice it is usually predicated with, you don’t want our opinion.

         A perfect example of who we are can be summed up with the phrase, we’ve never asked anyone for a loan except from a bank, and it is on rare occasions that we ask for a favor.

         We’ve made our island, I like our island, and we continue to safeguard our island like fierce bobcats.

         When I was venting, my good friend was quick to assess the situation, knew exactly what had set me off, and said,

         “It is Summer, you are out in your gardens where you always are.  She doesn’t even know you.”

        

         That phrase was, as simplistic as a shiny penny in a parking lot that needed to be fetched up and admired for the luck of it, and thankful to add to my million-dollar life that I’ve made for myself.

         Correct: The impatient caller doesn’t know me. 

         Yes, my gardens are me and if you don’t know that about me, you don’t know anything about me. 

          No, I don’t answer the phone, ninety percent of the time they are solicitation robot calls. If you want me, leave a message, that is what the answering machine is for – leave a message and I will decide if I need to get back to you.  I am at no one’s beck and call, remember, I am an island.

         I like my attitude that we don’t need anyone or want anyone.  It may not be realistic, but that is how we feel.  It may have to change in the future, but that is the future, not right now.

         When we want to, we know how to send a carrier pigeon or step into a canoe and paddle off our island for contact with the outside world.