Bonjour

 September 14, 2020 – Bonjour!

 

         I have simply given up with the Robocalls.  They now have technology that will assign a local phone number to their calls.

          My phone of importance is in the writing room/computer room which is actually the formal living room in this house.  It is exactly a five-ring-step journey from the chair in the “day room” where I watch TV.

          Ring one is stand up, ring two, I take the turn around the corner at my husband’s chair and head toward the dining room.  Ring three I am coming out of the dining room and if I happen to be slow, I can’t catch it by Ring 4, if I want to sit down before I pick up the ringing phone. I can hardly grab the handset by ring five.

         Often, friends wonder why I say, “hello,” then say, “wait a moment,” and then come back on the line.  It is because I have answered the phone in a long arm reach and I can’t get around the desk edge with the stretched out cord in order to sit down to talk.

          And, I have discovered that the phone display no longer shows the number of the caller in the display by ring number five on my phone, which is upside down to me anyway.

          So, most of the time I rarely know who is calling and when I say, “Hello,” I get the Robocall’s “bonk” and or someone soliciting something useless on the line. 

          Several months ago I started to use the Spanish phrase, “Hola”, which is Hello, but that triggered the Robocall’s bonk just as easily as the English Hello.

          So, I switched to “Bonjour” and Robocalls don’t seem to recognize it as easily.  Good thing, sometimes I can just hang up when I hear the delayed “bonk”.

          My Dad used to have a Canadian French friend named Ollie who lived in Harvard, Massachusetts, and Dad used to call out to him in a jovial French phrase when he visited. 

          Us kids knew it was a man’s greeting and we now know that we don’t pronounce it correctly, but I use that phrase also.  It translates roughly to “How the hell are you.”  I use that one when I think of it, not caring if I offend anyone; who among my acquaintances actually knows French, even butchered pronunciation French?

          My brother, Ken, calls often and he volleys Bonjour or Dad’s familiar phrase back at me in. 

          It has been fun these last few weeks since I put “Bonjour” into practice. 

          The first time my oldest friend called and I answered Bonjour, she replied Bonjour and then I said it again and she said Bonjour with a giggle in her voice and I said, “Oh, it’s you Dorothea.”

          I was amazed I could tell it was her by just her giggle and by her pronunciation of Bonjour – because it is spot on correctly pronounced, unlike mine.

          The next time she called, I said Bonjour, and she answered in a string of French a few sentences long. I have no idea what she said, but it was delightful for me as well as her, as she hasn’t talked with her Canadian cousins in months and was getting rusty. 

          Her Dad is Canadian, and still has a charming accent, even though he has lived here in the United States for maybe 70 years or more.  My friend, Dorothea, learned enough Canadian French to converse with her cousins on their many visits to her Dad’s family.

          The Canadian accent is still prevalent in New England, where I am from.  The assimilation of the Canadians created many French words that were absorbed into the English language. Often I can tell a born New Englander by just those absorbed French words.  Sometimes it is my only clue and they are surprised when I ask them about their heritage – back to New England.

          When you call, expect the unexpected greeting. 

Bonjour!