December 15, 2016 – I am the Master of the Master Closet

          Today I planned on getting the Christmas decorations out to the living room and the artificial trees out of the shed.

          I had the luxury of time today and suddenly I fell into the “deep-cleaning” trap.  Yes, trap.  It wasn’t the plan – it just sort of happened.

          There is an old adage: Never give a woman too much time or she’ll empty the entire closet out to clean it before she locates what she went in there to get.  That is the deep clean trap I found myself in this morning.

I am not sure what came over me. I think what started it was the huge electric blanket box perched above the coats.  Why keep it?  The blanket is on its second season and I fold and store it in a pillow case on a shelf.  Out that stupid box went; then I quickly added 3 or 4 more items to the “out/trash” pile.

I try on shoes and they don’t fit. I toss them in the next room. I try on clothes, they don’t fit and I toss them after the shoes.  There is now a pile of clothes to donate there, a pile of junk over near the front door. Every box, container, out of season item, just about three-fourths of the contents of the big master closet are strewn around my feet and on the bed when my husband wanders in.

          “What are you doing?  Making a mess?”  He asks.

          I look up and wonder how do I admit that I am just getting out the Christmas ornaments and suddenly there is a mountain of stuff to donate and a pile of trash at the front door and I haven’t even carried a single Christmas ornament box to the living room yet?

 

          My husband is looking around at the assorted flotsam and fear starts to creep into his face.  I could easily read that fear; it was saying, ‘OH, GOD, she may ask me to help!’  He doesn’t want to be enlisted.  As he is retreating he calls over his shoulder, “I’m making a fresh pot of coffee - you’d like a fresh cup?”

          “Sounds great!” I call after him.

          By the time he comes back with my coffee, I am actually putting things back into the deep closet.

          “You’ve been in here all day.”  He said as he handed me my coffee and noticed I was making progress.

          While he was there I cornered him and asked him about his sweaters – was he going to wear them again?  I took the stack and opened each one up and laid it out.  “Oh that is my favorite!” He declared to more than one.

          I silently rolled my eyes.  The entire stack hadn’t seen the light of day for at least two years, maybe three.  I re-folded them and put them away.

          When my cup of coffee was done, I carried out several boxes of Christmas decorations to the living room to show him I was making progress.

          Then I noticed a suitcase I had not opened and inspected yet.  I pulled a set of drapes out to refold them and, SURPRISE, I found the brand new turtle necks I had been missing for at least two years, maybe three.  So, that was a good thing.

          With the master closet done, I then loaded the car with the donation items and the trash.  The sun suddenly came out and I decided I better bring the artificial trees over from the shed as the cold front is expected tomorrow.  I have one large one a few little ones.

          I grabbed my keys and called out, “I am out to the dump, the post office and Yokefellows to drop off clothes.”

          “HMMMMM”, he said looking up from the news.

          When I get back I notice the closet light is turned off, the closet door is closed and my empty coffee cup has been retrieved.  I smile as I had left the light on and the door open purposely.

          Its proof the husband has inspected the master closet, but I am the Master of that closet!

          I expect tomorrow he will call out, “Where is my . . . .?” and this Master will have to run and fetch for him.