October 9, 2018 – Failure – or the Mulligan
concept
I am
in the process of re-reading a book by John C. Maxwell entitled “Failing
Forward – Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success” – published in
2000.
I
read it 18 years ago – and I needed a refresher course in success and failure,
as I have felt “bruised” lately.
Who
hasn’t had set backs? Who has started a new diet and failed? Who often thinks – why are am I doing this
again - only to set myself up for
failure? Why am I attempting this new project? Will it be a success or a failure?
I felt
I needed a new attitude – or a mental adjustment – or a re-charge in order to
get out of bed in the morning, plod on, stay the course, and continue to
persevere. Lately persevering has been tediously difficult.
Others
might not see me as a failure – ‘you do so much’, they say. But, I have my days just like anyone else.
The
book has great quotes:
Realize
there is one major difference between average people and achieving
people.
Learn a new definition of failure.
It's all about how you look at it.
“Chuck
Braun of Idea Connection Systems encourages trainees to think differently
through the use of a mistake quota.” [page 22]
I’d
forgotten about this concept until I read it again. Each student is given a mistake quota for
each training session. If that student
uses up his quota, he gets another - he learns to relax. Try and try again until you succeed is built
into that system.
This
re-reading made me pause, sit back, and deeply think about what I had learned in
the past that was difficult, yet I had wanted to succeed and discovered I had
learned to “relax” in order to succeed.
Please
drift back in time with me to when I was first dating my husband. He drank scotch, I learned to drink
scotch. He was an avid golfer . . . Oh
My! His mistress was going to be either
a bag of golf clubs or me. That was an easy
decision – me.
I
had to understand the game of golf and I had to learn it – quickly. Not too far from my place of work was a par
three golf course and once a week he would take me out to “teach me the game.” He didn’t mind at all – as it gave him a
wonderful excuse to put his arms around me and show me how to swing a club and sweet
talk me.
But,
he knew about failure and success and how to promote the art of trying hard in
order to succeed. He also knew I’d never
be as powerful a golfer as he was. He wanted me to understand the game, his
passion for it, and he wanted it to be fun – not torture.
He’d been playing
golf a long time and had a wonderful short game that helped him win against the
long hitters in his golf group.
On
our first round, he gave me a lady Mulligan – which is a free shot or a do-over
when you screw up or whiff a ball. My
husband was a stickler for keeping score even as I was learning. When I got to the count of 10 strokes on a
hole he simply put a big X on my card for that hole and let me continue to finish playing out the
hole without counting 11, 12, etc. so that I got the practice without degrading
me. It was all a learning curve and
having a pleasant time and not about discouragement.
If I didn’t use my
Mulligan, the point came off my final score.
Eventually, on a good outing, I got down to a double bogey golfer –
which is an average of two more strokes a hole and then slowly got down to a
bogey golfer which is one more stroke a hole with the occasional par on a
really good day. [Par is the score the golf course sets as what you should make
per hole.]
Often on a par three –
I’d match his score for the hole which was a little thrill for me. [And for
those of you out there that are not aware of what an birdie is – it means one
under par – excellent golfing – and I had very few of those in the years I
played, yet watched beaucoup of his
birdies.]
I
never became a long hitter, but I did develop a good short game, only because
he had an excellent short game. As long as I drove straight off the tee, I
could get on the green [dance floor – is the term we used.] Then carefully putt
to keep my score down. For years, he took me golfing in this casual way, occasionally.
Then one corporate
move, I suddenly became his only golf buddy. I stepped up to the challenge.
At
the time, we lived in Plymouth, Minnesota, and every Saturday and Sunday we did
18, 27, or occasionally 36 holes at Elm Creek golf course. It was a challenging course for me. We walked
and spent all day at the golf course.
On the
first outing, I asked for and got two Mulligans because it was not a par 3 and
when I got to a water hazard, I asked for a third. [I am a whiffer when it
comes to water hazards – I peek or try to swing too hard.]
After a few weekends,
I noticed I didn’t need to use any of my three Mulligans and I was reduced to just
one. And, my husband sweetly deducted
that one Mulligan stroke from my final score if I didn’t use it.
The
morale of this story . . .as you approach your next big project – give yourself
a reasonable amount of Mulligans . . . and you will achieve success with less
angst.
For the history of mulligan:
