December 17, 2019 – “I can get into trouble in less than four seconds.”

Two stores – two stories:

         I was at a busy store the other day and as usual when a man and I were heading to the same checkout stall, I have a basket full and he held only a package of batteries, so I said, “Go ahead.”

         He stepped in front of me, and then turned and said,

         “You called me a goat head.”

         “I said, go ahead.”

         “There you said it again, called me a goat head.”

         I looked up at the ceiling and mentioned to the world at large, at this man, the cashier and myself, “I can get into trouble in less than four seconds!”

         The prior customer left and the “goat head” man said to the cashier,

         “She called me a goat head.”

         “I did not,” I snapped at him and the pretty, young cashier looked at me perplexed not understanding what the situation was.

         “Are you two together?”  She asked with an arching voice.

         The man turned and looked me up and down and said, “No, I lost my wife.”  Was he sizing me up as a possible replacement?

         Reflex kicked in and I looked him up and down as well. He then turned and smiled at me and shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized he was trying to be funny with the goat head bit.

         I wanted to reach out and wring his scrawny neck. Some fun, at my expense – just about picking a fight with me I thought.

         The pregnant silence needed to be filled and I said, “I am so sorry for your loss,” followed by the young cashier saying, “Sorry to hear that.”

         He peeled off a ten-dollar bill for the batteries and got his change.

         “I am going back to Indiana; no one can take a joke.” 

         The man huffed off. I looked at the pretty cashier and unloaded my basket saying,

         “Sounds like my mother becoming indignant when we were in Myrtle Beach. She thought the waitress was calling her ‘Sweetie” when she was only asking if she wanted “Sweet Tea”.

         The young cashier smiled and said, “She must not have been from around here,” with her local twang.

         “No, Massachusetts, where I am from, but I can now say, ‘You-all’ just like the locals.”

         “You have lost your accent,” she mumbled and turned to ringing me up.



         At the grocery store with a full basket for checkout I again approached the checkout and glanced around and spotted an older gentleman only a few strides from the checkout.  I backed the cart out and hesitated from saying my usual line, “go ahead” having been burnt by that phrase at the previous store only minutes ago.

         “I have a cart full, please,” and I waved my hand.

         He stepped in front of me and set down a quart of milk and package of hamburger.  Pulled out his wallet and waited patiently.

         The woman in front of him was checking out and she and the young cashier were having words.  Their voices became shrill and were raised on both sides and they went back and forth.  The gentlemen turned and looked at me with raised eyebrows and then turned back.

         I gathered that she had only so much money on her card and she wanted to know how much was on it before they ran it.  I assumed she didn’t have enough money to pay her bill and was checking to see if she had enough.

         Well, the new cashier wasn’t handling the situation with much courtesy with comments like, “We can’t do that,” to the woman’s, “Why?”

         The woman was older, frazzled and started to personally apologize to the gentleman behind her and then to me.

        

         I said, “Not a problem,” to her as I had plenty of time being retired.  I’d already put all my groceries on the conveyor belt including the heavy bag of cat food and I wasn’t going to put it all back in the cart.  I would wait. 

         The young, inexperienced cashier called for help from the assistant manager and turned and looked at me,

         “It will be a while; you might want to go to another checkout.”

         “I will wait, I am not going to toss around this heavy bag of cat food again.”  The gent looked at the cat food bag and looked at me.  He understood.

         The woman trying to use her card was being hustled off to the service desk, she stepped back and again apologized to the gent and me.

         I smiled at her and called, “No need to apologize, it's fine.”

         Once the woman was at the service desk, I started to open all the little zipper pockets in my purse and fished out cash thinking back to the day this year when someone handed me cash that I didn’t need with the comment, “Pay it forward”.  I did pay it forward and it left a lasting impression on me to do something like that in the future.  This might be that moment.

         I came up with $15 worth of cash and the inexperienced little cashier was just blustering about, “ . . . this happens all the time.” As if all her customers were the worst vermin on the face of the earth. I made a mental note to self, she won’t last long as a cashier with that attitude.

         The gent looked at me in astonishment when he heard that and I leaned forward and said to the little gal in a low voice.

         “If the woman is short of money to pay for her groceries, I can assist her up to $15 in cash.  But, she may have other money with her.  Don’t say anything to her, just let things play out.”

         The little cashiers’ eyes widening in wonderment and the gent gave me an appraising look – tip to toe and looked to see what was in my basket. [I wonder if that answered his question.]

         Moments later the woman returned with her card.  She announced she had $29.96 on her card to those of us waiting on her.

         The assistant manager then showed the inexperienced cashier, how to run her card, and how to advise the woman the balance due. Then the woman pulled out a second card to pay for the rest. From the sounds of the direction, the little cashier might not have known that could be done.

         The woman sputtered and turned around to the gent and myself, “I had the money, I just needed to know what was on the first card.”

         I smiled, the gent nodded to her.

It was a case of:

“Much Ado About Nothing!”