September  29, 2016 – BAH-Hamburger, Herb Hamburgers, and Where’s the Beef?

In the beginning . . . .BAH-Hamburger

When I was a young bride at our first apartment I made meatloaf.  A gal at work had given me her favorite recipe and I didn’t have a loaf pan so I had to improvise.  I lined my 4-cup heart shaped copper gelatin mold pan with saran wrap, pressed the mixed raw meatloaf into the pan.  Then I turned out the heart shaped meatloaf onto our cast iron fry pan, peeled off the saran wrap and popped the fry pan into the waiting heated oven.

          As a young bride I asked my husband, “How is the meatloaf?”

          “Its heart shaped,” he answered. 

He said no more.  I didn’t try making meatloaf again for a couple of years as my feelings were hurt.

          We are not very big on meatloaf. I am not sure why. It could be that I have never found the perfect recipe.  But, every year or so I still get adventurous and try a new meatloaf recipe.  I always put it in the heart shaped pan as I’ve never bought a “meatloaf” pan. 

With each new recipe I ask, “How is the meat loaf?”

          My husband of 38 years ALWAYS answers, “Its heart shaped.”

He eats it. He doesn’t complain. I guess he is afraid to comment because he knows it is made with love – because it is heart shaped.

Anyone got a good meatloaf recipe?

Twenty years later . . . .Herb Hamburgers

          We are visiting my parents one summer weekend.  Sunday morning’s paper had a recipe for mint hamburgers.  I read it out loud to my Mom.  It sounded interesting to the both of us.  Mom said, “We have plenty of fresh mint.”   

“Let’s try it,” I said.

I picked the mint, diced up the mint, and mixed it into the raw hamburger meat.  I made hamburger patties and we grilled them for lunch.  They grilled up beautiful. The buns even toasted nice on the grill that day.  I arranged them on a platter and brought them to the picnic table.  My Dad and my husband dressed their burgers with their favorite condiments and Mom and I were the last to sit down having to bring out the rest of the meal. 

After his first bite, my Dad was not happy and asked, “What did you do to the hamburgers?” 

Mom and I looked at each other knowingly.  

         "There was a recipe in the paper this morning, mint, fresh mint.” I answered. 

At that moment my husband bit into his and groaned as if in agony and plopped his burger on his plate in disgust.

          “They all the same?”  Dad asked softly?

          I only nodded ‘yes’. 

Mom’s remark was, “They are awful aren’t they.  That is what we get for trying a new recipe.”

Wanting to save face I managed to eat only half of my mint burger.  It was DREADFUL.

The neighbor’s dog always came by and today was no different.  A friendly German Sheppard sniffed at the half eaten burgers Dad and my husband had left on their plates.  I pulled off the bun from one and tossed it to the neighbor’s dog. It landed in the grass and the dog rolled it back and forth with his nose a moment and walked away.

                  

Now . . . Where’s the Beef?

I am not crazy about that 93% hamburger that is on the market these days; No fat equals no flavor.  But, since we were chickened out to our eyebrows I acquiesced to hamburgers.   I got a pound of hamburger.  Took the hamburger out of the package, took a knife and cut it into quarters.  I put two of the quarters in a plastic bag and put the bag in the refrigerator for tomorrows “surprise” something.

I made two patties out of the half pound.  Dusted them with salt and pepper and tossed them on the heated cast iron fry pan to slow cook.  Meanwhile, I decided we would have lettuce and tomatoes on them.  I sliced one of our tomatoes from the garden and laid it out on the cutting board nicely.  I washed and dried the pretty lettuce leaves, laid them alongside. 

However, when it came to toasting the bread – husband and I had different expectations and he said he would do his own bread.  He wanted to cut his Italian bread ‘just so!’

So, I toasted my choice of bread and layered my tomato and lettuce on one slice of bread.  When the hamburgers were done, I turned the heat off in the pan.  I put my burger on the other slice of toasted bread and added a touch of Worcestershire sauce and ketchup to the burger. I assembled the two halves and sliced it prettily in half.  I left the kitchen to give him space to “do-his-thing”.

I went and sat down and started eating my hamburger sandwich.

When I was done with my hamburger sandwich I asked my husband,

“How’s your hamburger?”

“Wonderful,” he said. 

He was half way through his sandwich when I took my plate to the kitchen. I was going to wash up the pan but, what do I see in the pan?  I see the other hamburger – his burger.

“So, honey, your hamburger is wonderful? Seems funny your hamburger patty is still in the cooking pan.” I call to him from the kitchen.

He opens his half-eaten sandwich and is amazed it tastes so go without the hamburger. 

He had been so wound up getting his Italian bread sliced exactly the way he wanted it, his lettuce, tomato, and ketchup put on like Michelangelo that he didn’t happen to put the hamburger on it.

He comes back to the kitchen and repairs his half-eaten sandwich to include the left out burger.

Now, it seems I am so skilled at cooking hamburgers, you don’t even have to eat one to enjoy it.