September 4, 2016 - Recommend two books
On September 1,
2016, Dr. Terry Ledford's column in The Daily Courier struck a high note with
me. It is from his series of articles on negative thinking, self-esteem,
and relationships. He references Dr. David Burns, “The Feeling Good Handbook”. [An aside, digging through my book shelf for
something else last night I ran up on two copies of this book in
paperback. One I had bought myself and the
second one my Mom had sent me as a gift.]
Ledford asks if you
down play a compliment in order to appear humble or modest. Well – YES – I seem to do that all the time –
but I will put a disclaimer on that. I
do it out in the public arena, or interacting with work associates or with
people that don’t know me well.
BUT, I don’t do
that with my close friends. You know
the type of friends I mean, the ones that drop by the house, curl up on the
sofa with you and share a cup of coffee, and you have a good ‘chat up’ about
everything including the topics you friendly disagree on.
In fact one friend
on more than one occasion while I had been “tooting my own horn” on something
that I am accomplished in facetiously said “you sure are humble, aren’t
you?” It did make me pause for a split
second, but then I let it pass the first time.
The second time, I paused a little longer. My self-esteem was challenged? Was that why I paused?
I love the way
Ledford compares one’s down playing your compliments with not down playing your
criticisms. Recently I had to stand up
for what is right and moral and fight back hard. In order to do this I had to push the
potential bad criticisms to arm’s length and motivate myself with personal
power.
I love the analogy
Ledford makes when he wants you to think of your self-esteem as a bank savings
account and taking your compliment or success and depositing it. [Reflecting back on my life, I like my
self-esteem saving account balance – it has more value than my real savings
account.]
I want to link that
thought to ‘we all have personal power’.
Some of us have more than others.
Some of us only tap into it when the going gets tough and the tough get
going.
Let me tie this
back to a book Dr. Ledford recommended this last spring called “Presence,
Bringing your Boldest Self to your Biggest Challenges” by Amy Cuddy. Having only read Dr. Ledford’s column about
it one day I picked up the telephone and recommended it to a friend who knew
someone going through a tough patch of depression. I recommended the book without even reading
it because Ledford’s column had struck a note with me then as well.
The same day I
immediately ordered a copy of it for my reading. Do you know what I mean when someone says
they “inhaled” a book? Well, I inhaled “Presence”
– staying up late at night and squeezing time out of my busy schedule to get
through it quickly. The book is
AWESOME. It is on the corner of my desk
with a note to re-read it as I know I was half awake at times when I was reading
and I may have missed something important.
I find when you
connect the information from his column on “Presence” with how you handle a
compliment – you have something unbelievable to work with within yourself. I drew on that yesterday and I got a surprise
“win-win” that I didn’t expect. It
was a long shot; but it turned out in my favor. YIPEE!
I specifically
enjoyed Dr. Ledford’s suggestion: “Make a
conscious attempt to acknowledge your strengths. Consider your positive
traits. Enjoy your successes.”
Yes, thank you, I
will do that.
Dr. Terry Ledford’s
website is:
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