Blog Index - January 2017

January 1, 2017	My New Year’s Tradition; Planting peas – French Style
January 2, 2017	A place for everything, and everything in its place.
January 3, 2017	Meeting an old friend and bumping into a friendly ghost.
January 4, 2017	Winter landscape review
January 5, 2017	How do you wash the kitchen floor?
January 6, 2017	Another floor mopping story.
January 7, 2017	The morning we left Delaware.
January 7, 2017	Apology
January 8, 2017	Winter storm damage – Mother Nature’s natural pruning
January 9, 2017	Red sun at morning, sailors’ take warning.
January 10, 2017	The Russian Tea Room – “Coffee Please?”
January 11, 2017	Glycerizing Method of Magnolia Leaves
January 12, 2017	Time and the art of Living by Robert Grudin
January 13, 2017	A surprise compliment.
January 14, 2017	Awkward Family Reunion
January 15, 2017	Marie Kondo’s tidying up magic
January 16, 2017	Marie Kondo’s tidying up magic – Part 2 Folding
January 17, 2017	Marie Kondo’s tidying up magic – Part 3 – Books
January 18, 2017	In the dark – what again?
January 19, 2017	Reclaiming old garden space – stone mulch
January 20, 2017	Monique – my sewing mannequin
January 25, 2017	January winter joys in the vegetable garden
January 26, 2017	Joy Journal – A little tidbit from a “joy” celebrated.
January 27, 2017	Could you make potato salad?

January 27, 2017 – Could you make potato salad?

          I hesitated when asked, “Sure, but it is not my specialty . . . .” I let my sentence trail off hoping the Deacon’s wife would suggest something else.

          She picked up on my hesitant answer and explained.   “Our usual potato salad gals are out of town, one on vacation, the other having a new grandchild – she is with her daughter.”   It was enough of a pep talk for me to jump into the “funeral food – Potato salad” role.

          “Sure, no problem and I’ll make deviled eggs as well.” I said cheerily.

          “Good, we never have enough deviled eggs.”  She answered and went down her list as other women came forward to let her know if they could help and what they would bring.

          Let me explain.  Our church, the Immaculate Conception Catholic Church does a luncheon for the family and friends after the funeral Mass and after the internment at the cemetery [if one] so that the family and friends can congregate and fellowship to help in the mourning process.  Everyone is there, and it makes it very convenient for the family. 

The ladies in our Ladies Guild at our church put on the luncheon.  There is a group of very dedicated ladies and as time permits I am available, or if working, I prepare something and drop off before I have to go to work because I feel it is so important to care for the grieving.

          I try to bring something “healthy” without MGS in it or something in season.  Then, there are times when I just bring deviled eggs or chocolate brownies.  I heard it said, “It isn’t a proper funeral luncheon without deviled eggs at our church.”  I have it on good authority from my Southern Belle friends deviled eggs are a funeral tradition. 

Next on the traditional funeral food list is chocolate brownies and then there is always the potato salad to go along with the cold meat trays.

          Another Southern friend who turned funeral food, attending to the grieving family, and going to the funeral into almost an art form told me the perfect funeral food is “fried chicken” or a “pot roast” [with all the fixings] for the immediate family the night before the funeral when the clan is gathering.

          Yes, my Southern friends and the Ladies Guild have schooled me in the funeral etiquette here in Forest City, North Carolina.

          Funerals are simply different here in the South compared to my limited experience in New England.

          So, I go with flow and follow instruction of the nice ladies in my church guild.

Now you are wondering - Why did I hesitate?

          My husband and I have been a household of two for all the years we have been married.  When I have to take a dish to an outing or a picnic or function I usually do something “in season” or something elegant – like a chocolate mint mousse.

          I might make potato salad once or twice a summer.  Why? It is loaded with mayonnaise and calories and as you can tell by my photo – I am not a light weight and have never been a light weight and am constantly watching what I eat to try to not go past the Rubenesque size. [Oh, I don't have to watch anymore, everyone else seems to be watching for me.]

          I was never crazy about my Mom’s potato salad – she didn’t make it that often either and I have been hesitant all my life about potato salad. Sometimes it is yellow, sometimes so white you can’t see the potatoes and sometimes there are bits of something I can’t identify.  I am not sure until I taste it – “Is that pickled relish?”  Actually, it is the last thing I tend to put on my plate at any type of gathering.

          So, having to bring a bowl of potato salad to a group setting – I couldn’t make my potato salad that only serves two with no left overs.    I had always made it by “taste”.  I mix the ingredients together; then taste it to see if it has enough mayonnaise. I go very slowly on the mayonnaise.  But, then I have heard people say under their breath at a funeral function – “potato salad was dry” or “too much mayonnaise”.  How can I tell when I am a “potato salad novice?”

Good GOSH, I might be found out by church ladies! 

          So, I bought a fresh bag of potatoes and peeled them and kept them in water so that they didn’t turn dark as I worked on peeling them.  I boiled them and drained them.  And set to work.

          I took my favorite small blue bowl and made potato salad for two – with the different ingredients I usually use in the quantity I usually make and when it was done – I tasted it.  I then transferred that into a large bowl.

I continued this process of making potato salad for two . . . when it tasted right, I transferred it into the large bowl. When I had no more cooked potatoes to make into potato salad for two, I then folded all the different batches together in the large bowl and sealed it tight with cling wrap and popped it into the refrigerator for delivery the next day.  It seemed like I tasted enough potato salad for three years.

All during the funeral luncheon I was on edge.  At the end of the luncheon once the family and friends have all eaten, the ladies who do the luncheon slip out and make a plate for themselves and take into the kitchen.  I noticed there was still some potato salad left and we had a big group – about 75 people to lunch. 

I watched one luncheon worker bite into the potato salad and then glanced at another and watched her bite into the potato salad.  I had trepidation.

“How is the potato salad?”  I ask.

The Deacon’s wife turned to listen to the answer seeing that I am concerned.

“Nice, not dry like some is . . .  who made it?” 

“Me.”  I said adding in a whisper, “I’ve never made a big batch of potato salad before – so it was rather difficult.”

“Difficult?”  She quizzed having another bite of potato salad.

Another spoke up, “It’s good.” They all looked at me with questioning eyes.

I said, “I rarely make potato salad . . . I’ve only cooked for two people my entire married life.   I had to make it in portions for two so that I wouldn’t mess it up. I wasn’t sure how I would multiply the rest of the ingredients to make a big batch.  I was afraid I would ruin it so I made it in portion for two, another portion for two and when I was done, I folded it all together in one big bowl.  Does it really taste okay?”

There were snickers, giggles, and amused smiles all around.

The Ladies Guild hasn’t asked me to make it since which is fine with me, I am better at deviled eggs and chocolate brownies anyway. 

January 26, 2017 – Joy Journals – A little tidbit from a “joy” celebrated

          I am still working on the Marie Kondo’s tidying and cleaning project.

          GOSH, I really did not realize how many books I have accumulated.  They were tucked away in closets and cabinets and in the book cases.  I have taken them all out and divided them up by subject.  Now they are in different piles on my floors in respective rooms. 

It seems so wrong to toss a hardbound book out; I can still remember the black and white newsreels that were shown in high school history class showing the Nazi’s burning books – the flames leaping up as more books were tossed on.  It was beaten into my head that you should not toss out quality books.  And, I obviously have lived that theory . . . that is why I have way too many and am now wading through this pack rat book situation.

          And, honestly, as Ms. Kondo said – this takes time – books and papers and pictures.  I am making headway – I have a very large pile of books to be discarded as well.  Not sure where I will take them - possibly a thrift shop or a used book store.

          I have dozens of garden books – yes, I did pry my fingers loose from many on round one.  They are lined up against a wall waiting for another round.

          Then, I located my journals that I have kept on and off over the years. How could I not read a few pages here and there?   My own handwriting is so easy to read and they transported me back to joyful times, stressful times, out of work times, etc.  I have them all segregated and I have found a location for them – except I think new location might be too small. . . . Oh well, I’ll re-think that.  Eventually when I unearth all of them, I will mark the date on the front cover and put them into chronological order.

          I did find Joy Journal No. 1 and Joy Journal No. 2 – not sure if there is a Joy Journal No. 3 – we will see.  I read Joy Journal No. 2 – lots of rainbows and humming birds and early morning birds waking me. Yes, lots of Joy in those slim volumes.  Just reading them has reduced my stress [what stress?] as I was re-living my joyful moments of 1997 and 1998. I sure hope there is a Joy Journal No. 3 in the stack.

Then, one particular JOY incident was so fun I must share it with you.

          “April 1, 1997 - Tuesday – I wore a pair of shoes I’d worn only a few times last year – after I had gone to work I realized I only had worn them a few times because they hurt my feet – no they kill my feet.

         Arriving home it was with great pleasure and enjoyment that I took my shoes off at 5:30 p.m. at the door, padded to the kitchen and pitched each one in the kitchen trash can. Wham, one went in, Wham, another one went in.  OH, my feet feel better already!

         Boy – does that feel good.  One less pair of shoes in the shoe armoire and one less pair of shoes that kill my feet and I did it in front of my husband.  He was both surprised and amused.

         Finality; take charge attitude, and a felt darn good action.  JOY!”

January 25, 2017 – January winter joys in the vegetable garden

          I strolled down to the vegetable gardens to enjoy the winter sun coming over and through the deciduous trees along the west property line.  We sat out in our two easy chairs just enjoying the warmth down in our vegetable garden.  We have it “made” here in the South – it was 70 degrees most of the day with blue sky and bright sun and only a soft breeze.

          Several years ago I had planted a windbreak of evergreen shrubs north of the new vegetable gardens – so the heat lingers in that area due to reduced breezes.

          We have recently had ample rain and three of the four vegetable beds have been kept weed free and will be ready to plant in spring. I do have a wire grass infestation on Avenue No. 4 and I will have to seriously get down on my hands and knees and deal with it.  That devious wire grass came up through the cracks between the cement blocks in the raised beds from the outlying lawn.  It will be just a matter of taking the time to get it back in shape but it will be ready for the late spring/summer crops that require warmth.

          But just sitting there admiring the warm sun and the wet earth waiting to be put into production in the spring I noticed a beautiful little sprout, two seed leaves or cotyledons of what looks like a cucumber or squash seed.   It was dark green, healthy, and basking in the sun.  I had to get up and inspect it closer.  I put my hand on the warm soil beside it.  Yes it was as moist as a warm face cloth.  And, what is in the forecast – we will get down to 20 degrees in a few days.

          That lovely sprout will be mush in a few days – but should I go to the bother of covering it with a little cold frame to see if I can’t cheat old-man winter?   Possibly, I might do that.  But, the little rascal of a cotyledon is not in my garden plan and I don’t even know its pedigree – is it a squash or is it a cucumber?  Should I even bother?  I will decide that later today.

          Then I went and checked on the January 1^st planting of the Sugar Snap Peas that I grow for pea pods.  They are up 3/4^th of an inch and looking fine.  I note that every drill has “two” plants coming up – like magic – that snuggling in the dark – all germinate – and this is old seed – two year old seed. [See my January 1^st Blog.]

          And, I got a surprise from my fall planting of the potatoes experiment.  I found a website last summer researching potatoes and there is a North Carolina gardener who plants his potatoes in the fall, mulches them heavy and gets a jump start on spring planting.  Last spring when I was planting in an area that I had potatoes the prior season; I unearthed a small potato that had a massive amount of growth coming along.  I tucked it back in the soil and it produced good potatoes.  So, that was why I tried this experiment.

          When we got our first rains in December and it was a mild day and the soil was warm to the touch, I proceeded to devote a small square to the potatoes I had grown last year and took the tubers that were showing eyes and plunked them in and mulched them heavy.

          Low and behold I glance around at the potato patch and see leaves that have protruded the mulch by 2 to 3 inches.  I will have to cover those up before the cold front coming in the next few days.  So, we will see how that experiment works out and I will blog in the future about it. 

          Lastly, my husband and I were not the only ones out and about enjoying the sun – “No name slob”, [October 20, 2016, blog] came for a visit. I got the surprise of my life when he jumped up on me, kneaded my lap and curled up and began to purrrrrrrr.  He sounded like a Mercedes Benz diesel engine idling.  I guess he thinks he owns us now.

          Bye for now as I will be out in the gardens while we are having fine weather for two days before the cold blast comes in.  Let me see what I can do to jump start the season.  Maybe toss out some old lettuce seed or Mesclum and pop a small cold frame over it for sport.  Or better yet, let’s try my hand at some radishes under a small cold frame.  I will be sure to report to you in a blog.

          

January 20, 2016 – Monique – my sewing mannequin

As well as gardening, I am big into sewing my own clothes.  WHY?  Because I am not the perfect size and I can fix that with adjusting the pattern.

I am actually a very accomplished seamstress.  In my hay day of sewing I made winter coats – with dozens of buttons, or faux fur lined.  I made suits that were embellished with contrasting piping and beautiful button holes.  I made everything from pajamas to shorts to elegant dresses for girlfriend’s weddings.  I even made an entire merino wool wardrobe for my romp across Europe one winter.  That is one of the reasons I am SO FUSSY when it comes to buying clothes. 

In fact, I made my wedding dress – it was an ivory lace jacket with a sleek keyhole neckline floor length dress with skinny straps that crisscrossed my back in a brand-new-knit fabric that glimmered and didn’t wrinkle.

My Mom was always proud that I could sew well, but when it came to my wedding dress she said, “Can’t you just this once buy your wedding dress?” 

Of course, I said, “Why would I?  I know if I make it, it will fit.”

When she saw the dress, she understood.

OOPS – off point – sorry I digressed . .

I purchased a mannequin and fitted it to my Rubenesque size and she resided in the guest room corner dressed scantily in a black lace slip and black flowered hat so that she made a whimsical note when noticed.  And, I named her Monique.

My girlfriends found her amusing at the same time they were in awe as they knew I actually used her to fit my new creations.  My husband got a chuckle out of her that I had her dressed so sexy.

One day I came home early from work with the flu.  You know how you feel fine when you leave for work and then suddenly early afternoon you feel like you have been run over by a cement truck? That is how I felt.  At the time my husband was on the swing shift – 12 hour days and he would get home about 9:00 p.m. at night.

When I got home I pulled on my pajamas, made myself a cup of hot tea and filled a hot water bottle with the intention of crashing in bed. I was about to leave a note for my dear husband, but knew from experience that he might not notice it at the end of his long shift.

I carried Monique my mannequin down from the guest room and stood her just inside the door he would come in when he got home.  

I pinned the following message on a piece of paper to her bodice:

“Monsieur:

Mistress is sick in bed with the flu.

Please make her a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey

and some cinnamon toast and gently wake her.

Monique”

 Monsieur did as he was instructed - thus begun the love affair of Monsieur and Monique.

January 19, 2017 – Reclaiming old garden space – stone mulch

Several years ago the sun encroached on my original vegetable garden and I had to create new vegetable gardens in the sun.  I spent a lot of energy on those new gardens and the previous garden fell into disarray and the first avenue was turned into a perennial nursey of lifted and divided perennials to plant in future locations in my yard. The last raised avenue I tried some experimental crops, but that too ended a few years ago.

Then the weeds simply took it over last year and I let it go planning on a spring cleanup.  When I spotted the hurricane lilies which I discussed in my September 14, 2016, blog, I made a note on my to-do list to reclaim the old vegetable garden area in some manner.  After much thought I have a plan and I started on it yesterday.

There is still nice soil in that location and some slanting sun that could be considered morning sun and afternoon sun.  It is perfect for partial sun or partial shade annuals or perennials.

I spent almost a whole day cleaning up the ruin of a garden.  I took out the matted fallen leaves, moved out the irrigation system and took a pick axe to the perennial weeds that had drifted in.  Set all the bricks aside I had used for the raised beds and hauled off about 12 wheelbarrows of weeds and leaves. I now have a better picture of what I plan to do with it.

The first avenue is still the perennial nursery and now that the last vegetable avenue is free of weeds, I will be tilling it, spreading the soil flat and seeding it down into a lawn.

However, I do have one problem and that is the stone mulch that was so “lovingly” brought in by my husband and put down between the first avenue and the second avenue.  It was “free” and it was pretty to the non-gardener.  He started his “free” stone project before I got home one day and was half way down the pathway between the first avenue and the second vegetable avenue.  There was no turning back. The stones are light colored, smooth and different sizes under 2 inch diameter.  Pretty, yet I discovered pretty useless as soon as they were plunked down.

“It will hold the heat so that you can plant earlier in the spring.” He said.  I had to think about that.  It also did help the “washing away” of the soil in the path and the raised beds due to heavy rains.  The garden slopes down from the east to the west slightly – but not noticeably.

BUT, let me tell you, MISTAKE, [I find] small stone paths unless.  I found there was no way of keeping them “weed free” and pristine of foreign particles, like leaves, dirt, etc.  You would have to continually top dress them with additional stone – of which we no longer had a source as this stone was “given away” by someone who didn’t want it.     

When this vegetable garden was active, I had to constantly weed the Henbit out of this perfect growth area for weeds.  The stones warmed by the sun produced early and quick growth of the Henbit weed.  However, I had to pull that Henbit by hand and as I did the massive white roots dislodged the stones.  I had to wait until the Henbit was large enough for me to get my fingers on it to pull. So that path always looked weedy. I didn’t want to introduce weed killer into my vegetable garden area. The weeding of the small stone path was a waste of my valuable gardening time. Those stone were a mistake, a big mistake, much like the Hazel Nut trees and their suckers.  See Blog December 8, 2016].

Hopefully, you can heed my warning on small stone mulch.  I imagine there is a genuine place for small stone mulch – but so far, I haven’t found it.

I stopped my garden work yesterday when I realized I would have to tackle the stone mulch before I could go on with my plan. I will have to scoop up most of it and move it so that I can spread the soil from the tilled raised bed over the stone path area and then plant grass seed.

Do I dare send the scourge on to some other naïve gardener?  Should I pot it up into 2 gallon pots and haul them to the end of the driveway and put up a sign “FREE”?

Nah – that’s not sporting in this gardening game.

January 18, 2017 – In the dark – what again?

          There is an old saying:  Death always comes in threes; and then there is also another old saying – Luck comes in threes.  I guess it is your choice – you are pessimistic or optimistic.

          I see it as we had a lot of death of light bulbs and more than enough so-called-luck to last the weekend when it comes to light bulbs.  But, when it comes to light bulbs it seems to me it is never just one light bulb has blown out.

          I have frilly light globes in the bathroom over the vanity.  One day last week I flipped the switch on and two bulbs were out, not just one, since the night before.  Later that afternoon, I turned on the ceiling light/ceiling fan combo which also has frilly light globes and one bulb was blown out.  All were within 15 feet from each other.

So, I will need to dig out 3 bulbs, not just one and I have to get the short step ladder out to change them. They can wait a day or so.

          Then, Saturday night after cooking and cleaning up, I look up at the light as I go to turn it off.  One bulb on the end is blown out.  I make a mental note to myself:  Those are special bulbs; I’ll need to go out and get some.

          Sunday morning my husband asks, “Where are the light bulbs?” and adds as he comes towards me. “Where is the step ladder?” 

“The overhead light in the mud room has just blown.” He states.

I direct him to where I had the ladder last; he is not happy that I left it there.  OH WELL!

          We both go scrounging for light bulbs. I have already retrieved three and put them in the vanity sink to take care of my three blown bulbs.

          “When you are done with that bulb, I have three that I need your help with.  I need the step ladder to replace them.” I say as I am watching him climb up and remove the globe and then put in the bulb and I stay handy in case he needs to hand me something.

          When done I take the step ladder to the bathroom and tell him to hold onto my waist as I climb up.  He does hold onto my waist band, but as typical he pats my ass in-route making me teeter.  I change the two over the vanity.

          The next bulb is changed in the ceiling fan. I think we are done and he proceeds to pull out our bulb “vault box” which holds an assortment of new bulbs and is digging in it.

          “What are you looking for?” I ask thinking we are done.

          “The light over your computer desk is out.” He answers.

          That was news to me it wasn’t dead the night before and I sit under it every day and night writing blogs.  I look up and verify a blown out bulb.

          “I thought all these new bulbs were supposed to last for years?” I complain.

          “Yeah, well” . . . was his non-committal remark as he is replacing the bulb over the desk.

          We now look in the new bulb box vault together.   He states, "We've got two of those expensive bulbs for the center kitchen light, but only one of those bulbs for over the kitchen sink, I will have to get another one."

          "There was only one blown over the kitchen sink last night." I retort.

          "There were two out when I turned the light on this morning." He answered.

          That is 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 2 = 7 light bulbs at one whack?  And, they all require the step ladder.

          So, everything happening in threes doesn’t seem to fit this household; more like everything happens in sixes and sevens.

I used to just exclaim, “And, then there was light” when we changed light bulbs, however I am now thinking I need to exclaim,

 “Can we afford this?”

January 17, 2017 – Marie Kondo’s tidying – Part 3 – Books

          Refer to January 15^th and 16^th.  This is part 3.

OH MY – I am on a roll – and a really nice one.  I feel like I have accomplished something great.

          Yesterday afternoon I took trash to the dump and then a trunk full of useful and usable “stuff” to a thrift shop close by.  Let someone else find some “joy” from which I did not.  Liberating.

          I was amazed at the books that I have shoved in every nook and cranny of every storage area or closet. 

          One area of instruction was how she handled the issue of BOOKS.  “Please start by removing every book from your shelves and putting them all on the floor.”    It is a jolt to you when you actually do this.   [I admit, I am cheating as I have them on the floor in every room they resided in, but nonetheless, they are sitting on the floor in uneven piles shoved against the wall so that they don’t topple over.]  Just taking them all out from their nooks and crannies I read the title and tossed a dozen or so with the “been there, done that, attitude”.  Out went the “felting and the mushroom growing” books.  Someone at the thrift shop can enjoy those two groups of books.  I experimented in both and found them both challenging and fulfilling but I don't need to keep the reference books.

          I have had to pause in this project in order to live life, so I will have to return to the books that are stacked around awkwardly in a few rooms. I now have a better understanding of how many volumes I had tucked away in hibernation that were using up my valuable storage space and I know I can easily reduce my books to just the "spellbinding ones."

          However, I have made good progress.  I’ve taken about 5 bags of books out of the house.  I now need to go to the liquor store to see if I can’t get some sturdy boxes in order to mine the rest of the stacks of books.  The carrying out will be easier.

          And, surprisingly, no, I haven’t second guessed myself and retrieved something after I had made the decision.  The tidying manual indicates that a book should give you a “thrill of pleasure when you touch it.”  I think that is the key – the touch part.  The ten page instruction on the BOOKS alone is well worth the cost of the book.

          I highly recommend you obtain a copy of Marie Kondo's The life-changing magic of tidying up the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing and practice what it preaches. So far, it is the best tool I have found to “get rid of stuff” which is magic in and of itself.

Today, I mentioned this tidying book to my hair dresser that I finally got space in one closet to store my canister vacuum cleaner.  What a milestone that is for me.

She wanted me to come do her

house – I must not be the only one with this problem.

January 16 - 2017 – Marie Kondo’s tidying up magic Part 2 - Folding

This is continued from yesterday’s blog. 

Once I put the clothes back in the closet, I moved onto all the bureaus and pulled the items all out so that I could learn the art of folding clothes for storage.

          I honestly suggest that you get this book – just to learn her folding technique and why you fold.  One chapter subheading is entitled, “Fold it right and solve your storage problems” I read and re-read this section carefully.  “Folding is really a dialogue with our wardrobe” was another line that I grasped easily.

          Finally one of my house keeping problems was identified: Once the laundry is done, folding and putting things away seems like such a chore to me.   This is where the magic is, in my opinion; you store things standing up rather than laid flat so that you can see where every item is at a glance.  She relates this to being able to see the spines of the books on your bookshelves.

The author then coaches you on how to fold your items and how to utilize space wisely.  

First I sorted out joy from non-joy.  Then I put like items in separate piles and started with the sweaters.  I folded them softly and lovingly, so that that they were the “height” of the side of the drawer and then lined them up from left to right in the drawer.   OH MY!

I can see each one of my delightful choices quickly.  So much better than the sweater shelf method!

I can now open the drawer, decide on which one I wish to wear, pull it out and wear it.  At the end of the day, I lovingly fold it again and put it back where it belongs – because there is a ready and waiting space for it.  When I close the drawer it is a vision of organized loveliness.

Suddenly, my bureau drawers are harbingers of joy, joy, and more joy everywhere.

We are onto something here!

January 15 - 2017 – Marie Kondo’s tidying up magic

          One of my New Year’s resolutions was to clean, put everything in its place, and get organized in order to get on with living well.

          One night last week I paid attention to O’Reilly’s list of top New York Times Best sellers – of course, his book was No. 1 – but he mentioned The life-changing magic of tidying up the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing by Marie Kondo.

       I went on-line and ordered it immediately as it was touted as helping me crack the code on how to clean and get organized and move on with life.  That is my personal quest at this moment.

          As soon as the book arrived a few days later, I used the detailed table of contents to pick and choose certain areas to get a grasp on what was in the book.  Then I launched in with a quick read that evening.

          Very early the next morning,   I actually took all my clothes out of my closets and tossed them on the bed and took the rest of the contents of the closet and stuck it in the corner. I wasn’t keen on tossing my clothes on the floor as I’ve a cat and dog that would want to play in them.

          Marie Kondo’s premise is basically, “Does this item give you joy?”   That is how you decide to keep it or not.

          I, much like the author, have greedily read every article about cleaning and organizing, etc., for the last 40 years and seem to not have gotten into the right grove about how to keep a house clean and organized.  It seems to last between 3 days and two weeks, but no more.

          So, this is actually round three on this house since Christmas.  I obviously have too much “stuff” that I am not utilizing and is giving me HEARTBURN, not JOY.

          The other premise that “spoke to me directly” was: “Are you living in the past or living in the future.”   I have to admit, I don’t really know the answer to that.  I am still floundering around in the sharp realities of the past and the unknown of the future which can seem terrifying.

          So, taking her question to heart I decided to work on just the PRESENT putting it in the context of “What do I need to wear in the present”.  I can safely say, I easily parted with  lots of “past life” clothes.

         

          But, unlike the author – it took me more than one pick up and put down and stroking to “listen to the article – to absorb the “joy” from each article. Those that I wasn’t certain about I put to the side because I hadn’t really learned how to listen to them yet.  I’d been sorting past from present I guess.

Those that I knew were my favorites gave me instant joy.  They have always given me joy.  And, the reason I know that is when I buy things it has to be “gorgeous” or “perfect” or it doesn’t come home with me.  At least I got the “buying joy” part right.

One hurdle seems to be the well-meaning gifts of my husband and close friends that I can’t seem to read well.  Some of that is tied up in the cost of the article, some in the sentiment of the item and I found it hard to wade through that loyalty landmine field.  Finally I got down to “does it give me joy” and then it became easy.

          Another hurdle was I haven’t figured out is when you wash something for the first time and it is never the same, what do you do. I’ve always handled it as an immediate disappointment and I suffer in silence as I wear it in between the two or three outfits that are perfection. I had dozens of this example and didn’t hesitate to toss them in the OUT PILE. But, how does one handle this issue in the future? Do you immediately pitch it? 

          I did a lot of “when did I wear this last?” questioning as well.  It took me a while as I held each item up and stroked it to listen to myself and the item involved.  Then I would remember – the arms are too tight – the collar feels scratch – it wrinkles so bad in 10 minutes – the color turns me my face puke green – it is stifling hot even on the coldest day – it rides up – the sleeves can’t be pushed back and then they don’t stay, etc.   The goodwill pile got bigger and bigger.

         

Now, I know I can do this because it comes down to “JOY” or “PERFECT”. It comes down to the “go-to” always clothes that I own.  I’ve never really needed or worn the rest of them.  A terrible thing to admit - but it is a refreshing break through.

I'm still working at this . . . I will advise my progress tomorrow.

January 14, 2017 - Awkward Family Reunion

          After a sudden job change, we ended up in Plymouth, Minnesota.   My oldest brother, Alfred lived about 30 miles away in Apple Valley, Minnesota and the first order of business was to reach out and invite my brother and his wife, Carol, to dinner once we unpacked and got settled in.

          The last time I had seen my brother I was 16 years old – and now I was married and 28 years old.  This was an outreach on my part to become “family” again as we would be living close by.

          It was a Saturday night and they arrived promptly on time.  It was an awkward moment for me as I introduced my husband to my brother and his wife, for the very first time.  We had been married about five years before and they had not attended our wedding due to the distance.

It was as if we had invited total strangers to dinner and it took them about three seconds to survey the nothing of an apartment and decide to sit down at the table in the dining room, as we had a galley kitchen.

          Making a cocktail for Carol required an ice crusher and mine was still in storage.  I had to improvise by smacking a plastic bag of ice cubes with a pipe wrench which my brother, Al found amusing and ridiculed me sharply when the plastic bag split open and crushed ice spilled out on to the ugly orange and green kitchen floor. It was an embarrassing moment for me which I haven’t forgotten.

          We sipped our cocktails and were well into the first course when I noticed my brother had picked all his raisins out of the Waldorf salad and lined them up, one after the other, on the outer edge of his salad plate.  My sister-in-law teased him like a little child saying, “Making a raisin train? – He doesn’t like raisins.”  I didn’t know that and made a mental note to remember it.

It was a stressful dinner; I realized none of us were really “connecting” like I thought we would. 

          Later, trying to find common ground, I asked, “What are you buying Mom for her birthday?”

          Carol said, “Have you got any ideas?  I am fresh out.  Did she like what I got her for Christmas?”

          I said, “She didn’t say, but they were snowed in with an old fashioned white Christmas, like we used to have when we were kids.”

          Alfred said, “We didn’t have real snow when we were kids, wait until you see how it snows here in Minnesota.”

          I replied, “I remember the snow ball fights as I was your favorite target most of the time.”  That made Al smile a bit, but not as much as when I put the dessert in front of him.

          “Strawberry shortcake, my favorite!”  He said, adding, “You remembered.”

I smiled softly thinking,  ‘Finally, a glimmer of hope in my family reunion attempt.’