April 1, 2018 – Was it jealousy, envy or simply low self-esteem?

         Yesterday I was subjected to a flash of rudeness that almost caught me off guard. But, now that I am older and wiser, I handled it with grace.

         I was in a group setting; we had not had a chance to intermingle at all as I had slipped into class late by ten unfortunate minutes.  The gal seated beside me sized me up with her low level of self-esteem. [You know how first impressions are ten-seconds, and then it is a lasting impression.]

         In front of 25 to 30 people this gal opened her mouth and made an incredibly rude statement about me, someone she had never met and didn’t even know. She simply assumed.

I, somehow, was the spark that lighted her low self-esteem bottle-rocket. It popped up and exploded nicely for her, and I am not sure how many noticed it.  It was so unexpected; it might have been missed-who knows?

         I immediately pressed a smile on my face and glanced around the room.  Many were being gracious as well – frozen smiles or poker faces.  I next wrote the rude comment down verbatim on my pad of paper and circled it. A moment later, I wrote RUDE in large letters above it to capture the moment.  It made me wonder what I had done to press her button. I’d really like to know, because the devil in me wants to push other people’s buttons more successfully in the future. I had not spoken to her or bumped her chair. Had just my presence caused her rude remark?  I had plenty of quiet time to assess it and last evening I assessed it more.

         I started to check the internet for the difference between jealousy and envy and wondered which had caused this.  Later I viewed several other websites, but I want to share one website with you.

         Always be Nice and 49 other ways to destroy your Self-Esteem. By Isaiah Hankel. Sub-topic: How to be confident. 

https://www.isaiahhankel.com/self-esteem

         No matter how much self-esteem you think you have – it is always useful to spot check yourself. I suggest you print this out and take a good half hour to review it carefully.  See what situations you have recently encountered that have caused you angst. It has tips on correcting the situation in the future.

         This is the first list of this sort that I have had a chance to review. I mulled over personal experiences, and work experiences, and discovered much about myself and much more about the other parties involved.  It was a revelation for me; it might be one for you too.

         Check it out – see if you  are causing your own low  self-esteem.

         I will leave you to it with a quote from Isaiah Hankel:

         “In the simplest terms, your self-esteem is how much you respect yourself.”