November 2, 2016 - Why few friends like to go clothes shopping with me.

          The other day I made the inappropriate decision to stash my purse in the trunk of my car and head out on my shopping excursion with just a few items in my zippered jacket pockets.  I put my phone and keys in one pocket and my small wallet in the other pocket so that I wouldn’t be encumbered with a dangling shoulder bag to keep up with.

          I wanted to shop fiercely, unencumbered, and didn’t want to have to pay close attention to the security of my dangling shoulder bag.  I wanted both hands to flip through the sales racks and to pick up and put down what I was reviewing for possible try on.

          I simply wanted to be the supper shopper, mean, lean, shopping machine and I wanted to move fast and cover a lot of territory, so I was alone.

          However, I was lured into the coolness of the day by how cold it had been when I left the house that morning and eventually I had to pull off the jacket because it was stifling hot in all the stores.  Now I had to baby sit the jacket instead of the purse; what is worse?

 

I didn’t like any of the styles.

I didn’t like the necklines – unflattering on me.

I didn’t like the fabric – wouldn’t last 4 washings.

I didn’t like the awful colors – I don’t do neon this or neon that.

If it doesn’t go with something I already own – I don’t buy.

If I can’t wear it at least three ways, - yes, that is my creed; I don’t buy it unless it goes with 3 other things to make an outfit.

If I don’t absolutely LOVE IT – I leave it.

Does it feel good on the body?

Does it flatter my complexion or the lumps and bumps I want to camouflage?

Does it convey my look, my PERSONAL look or does it look like what one of my eclectic friends would wear?

If it is pants, can I actually sit in them and breathe?

Then there is the actual garment construction. Do the stripes match, seams smooth, nice buttons? Does it have what a seamstress looks for in a quality piece of clothing?

OHHHH . . . you are probably rolling your eyes by now.  I admit it: Yes, I am fussy!

You are probably wondering, ‘How can she ever actually find anything to wear?’  Well, I rarely do, I come home empty handed often.  When I DO find something I like, I buy a second item of the same in another basic color.

Once in a while when I do find something that is “spot-on” or prefect or gorgeous – or makes a statement that IS ME and makes me feel beautiful or intelligent or sophisticated in a savvy sort of way . . . I do actually dig deep in my wallet and spend my hard earned money.

Of course, I then expect to get years out of my clothes not just a season.

Persnickety?  In a word, you can sum it up that way.

I am officially the non-shopper clothes shopper!  I drive my girlfriends insane; that is why I like to go solo.  They dig through sales racks, they find things, me – I have a more tunneled approach.  I have a vision in my head of what I want and I won’t settle until I get it.

My theory is if I can see clothes or outfits in all the catalogs that come into my house; I should be able to find them in the stores.  If I don’t find them in the store, I have no qualms of ordering them through the mail.  When I was a kid all my clothes were ordered by my Mom through Montgomery Ward or Sears and Roebucks. [We lived in the country.] Probably 80 percent of my clothes now come from catalogs.

Murphy’s Law had kicked in; when I have money to spend, got time to really “SHOP” and have a list of wants in my head . . . I come up empty handed.

I can deal with coming home empty handed on many occasions, but I had a bigger disappointment this day.

I fished the purse out of the trunk and started the car up.  My lips were dry so I reached into my purse and pulled out my just-bought-last-week, perfect shade of lipstick.  Pulled off the cap and there it was completely melted into the cap. UGGGH!

It was as disappointing as a scoop of ice cream falling from the cone.