“Charity begins at home.”

January 15, 2020 – “Charity begins at home.”

         My Dad had a saying when so-called “do-gooders” is what he called them came a calling and wanted something for free – a “hand-out” he called it or wanted him to “volunteer his valuable time” – when he wasn’t “moon-lighting” or doing needed home maintenance after working at his demanding full-time job.  He dismissed them, and stayed in his familiar cocoon, his universe of his family, his home, his church, his world.

         I was recently reminded of this view of life and his version of retirement when I picked up a copy of a book by Nancy Collamer’s book entitled Second Act Careers – 50+ ways to profit from your passions during semi-retirement.

         Yesterday I casually flipped through it.  Now, I wonder why I even bothered to buy it. Possibly just curiosity. It is all about working again – working when you retire, ad nauseam.  My reaction was the same as my Dad’s – Charity begins at home – meaning didn’t I work so that I could retire – and do whatever my little heart desired?

         The second part of the book is analyzing yourself and your life to discover what you should do to create a second-act career.  There are life story worksheets that ask questions about your childhood, high school, college, professional life, and your personal life, in order for you to figure out your passions and desires.

         Why should I volunteer my time for no pay to do for someone else when I haven’t finished “doing” for myself?  I feel like I have already moved mountains in my lifetime, why should I run off and save the world at large while my house is filthy, when I need to paint a couple of rooms, or return the garden weeds to some resemblance of a person does live here – not the gardener-must-have-died look.

         How often have I wondered about how do people exercise for 2 hours daily, run marathons on the weekends, and then work 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. at a high powered job.  Do they actually have a moment to sit down and eat a real meal?  What does their shower stall look like – mold in the corners?  What do they think when their bare feet stick to the dirty kitchen floor in the morning? 

         Do they make that much money that they hire a housekeeper to keep up their house and cook their meals and tend to their laundry so that they can run at full tilt – and in my opinion, burn themselves out?

         Go, go, do, do – adventure after adventure, and the prescription of a “second act career during retirement”? I am tired for them. 

         My version of retirement is personal “charity begins at home” as in being charitable to my husband and myself.  I must be too much of a closet introvert – I like the “down time” of not working at all.

         As I was reviewing the professional worksheet, I reminded myself of the nights I worked until 2:00 a.m. in the morning for my own company, and the stress of juggling the demands of business with the demands of a modicum of personal life.  No, I didn’t thrive on it – it wore me out. Looking back, the amount of money that came in wasn’t worth all that effort.

         Just the other day, I bumped into a gal who said her job was a 24/7 ordeal – always connected by cell phone – always on at the corporate beck and call and her remark was, “When am I going to have a life?”

         I have the answer for her – when you retire – stop working for someone else and bring all your work within your own tent – work for yourself – for all those things you wish you could have done but corporate America held you captive.  Take your time and do absolutely nothing.  I am serious, don’t lift a finger except for yourself.  If you go stark raving mad, then find something to fill your time or ambitions – but get back on the semi-work-mill, re-think that is my advice.

         You will know when you need to start “doing something” to fill your time. Trust me, everyone else around you will fill your time, whether you want it filled or not.  Examples – the care of an elderly parent or your spouse, [duty], or can you babysit the grandchildren, come help out at the Meals on Wheels or work in the food kitchen at the church.  They will say, “You are doing nothing, you are retired.”  Who are they to tell you what you should be doing is the first question you should ask yourself.

         Who are they to decide you shouldn’t have the little luxuries of retirement like watching the news, reading the newspaper, re-caulking the bathtub. God forbid you want to read a book, or have a clean kitchen floor, or feed the birds and sit on your porch and watch them flit in and out of the feeders in the afternoon sunlight.

         Me, I think semi-retirement is for the birds.

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Not everything that can be counted counts,

And not everything that counts can be counted.

-Albert Einstein